Standing at a Crossroads

Right now I am standing at a crossroads and I am looking at my options about what direction to go, in terms of spiritual exercises and focus. A few weeks ago I completed an extensive meditation/trancework practice with the runes, spending a week (or more) with each rune. I began this in 2009, and while my original goal was to finish in 33 weeks (for the Anglo-Saxon Futhorc and Northumbrian runes) it did take much longer because of little bumps in the road of life, like colds, moving, or just not being able to get into the trance state I felt was needed. But I stuck it through to the end, and I finished. It was awesome and when I was done I felt great satisfaction and completion. That lasted for about a week.

The new question is “Where do I go from here?” It is the challenge of being mostly self-directed in one’s personal spiritual/magical practice. There is no teacher saying “study this next” and honestly, while I do love books, for me I need to move beyond them. They too easily become a crutch and a distraction, instead of propelling me ahead into my next thing. I have an extensive library already. The only things I would like to add to it are rare and expensive contemporary books from the Cultus Sabbati and a few things that I have sitting on my wish list at Amazon. That being said, I do need to be thrify and plan my expenditures in that direction more carefully.

That being said, I wonder, where do I go from here? There is no wrong direction, I just need to choose. My usual problem is that I like to my cake and eat it to, and a few other cakes from everyone else as well. Some of the options that have presented themselves to me are:

1) Elemental Mastery – I have a relationship with the elements, Persian and otherwise. But I wouldn’t say I have mastery or a deep and well-established relationship. I have been told that Earth is where I need to begin.
2) A friend and guide along the path has directed me towards working with another magical alphabet, and to unlock meanings from those. While at first I have to say I was not thrilled, after some thought, it seemed interesting.
3) Ancestor Veneration – while I already do this on some level, I would like to take it to a deeper level and put together a more complete ancestor altar, with items of my family and other lineages that I am connected to. This would eventually lead to practicing necromancy and developing that skill set.

So, that is some of the options I am considering. There are others, but I haven’t quite figured them out exactly what they are. I have recently been reading “The Master Book of Candle-Burning” by Henri Gamache and contemplating the working presented there. I have also been working with Biblical Psalms, which might lead to something else, but I am not sure where that might lead, other then my interest in prayers and incantations. I have also been desiring to move forward with my Reiki studies, and become a Reiki Master, but I am not sure if that is what I am ready for yet.

So, I stand at the center of the crossroads, and I contemplate which direction I should head in now. I know eventually I can return and pursue the other objectives, but for now I need to choose and follow that direction.

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